i can't take it no more..........
11:27 pm
{there will never come a day..you will ever hear me say....that i want...or need to live without....you...
i wanne give my all.....
baby just hold me.....simply control me...because your arms..they keep away the lonely...
when i look into your eyes....then i realize...all i need is you in my life....all i need is you in my life....
'cos i never felt this way about loving...no...
never felt so...good...baby
never felt this way and feeling so....good....}
did you forget all the times we spent together..all the words we said to each other...all the promises..all the things we did..all the times we were there for each other..all the times i was there for you...why did you change...? why do you have to leave me when i need you the most... i was always there to comfort you...where were you when i needed you..? i will never stop loving you... i will never forget you... that's the worst part of it all... i can never move on...eventhough i may have seem to... you were my first... and my feelings for you will never change... if only you knew how much i actually love you... how much i actually care for you.... how much i worry about you everyday and night.... i love you... why do you have to put me through all this shit... WHY??? even after all the things you did to me.. all the times you left me all alone... i always belived you were thinking of me and missing me as much as i miss you... i do.. you were always there when i needed someone to listen to my problems... to give me advice... how can someone so kind and warm, be so cruel and cold too... when you were lonely.. i was there... when i was down...you cheered me up.... you did so many things for me.. you took care of me... you took care of Ed... how can you do this to me??? what did i do to you to deserve such punishment... you said you would be there for me always... i will always love you......
{i noe you girls may think i'm stupid to forgive him... but i really love him.... please try and understand... he was all i had... i have no one else rite now... you girls i noe will be there for me... but it's different.... i love you girls too... muacks...}
11:26 pm
hie2!! me is at Kysha's crib rite now...juz went to pay my fees at poly... bloody hell..make me rush all the way there when the damn thing take only 5 god damn minutes to settle! fuck! n instead of going back to werk, i'm chilling with mash! haha!! aight..feeling a little better today...still got the migrane! {i need synflex...oh mashi....} hehehe....
1:03 pm
Haiz...just found out that my parents...{my dad n step-mom} might get a divorce... i dunno...i tink she IS seeing somebody else...just b'cos my dad isn't werking, she doesn't want him anymore?? B'cos she can't get all the glamour my mom used to get...what the hell??? And i noe this how? well, i know i shouldn't hv done it..but i saw this letter in the bin in the kitch...n i read it...n man it was horrible..for my dad to say such things,,,he must be really heartbroken... it's bad enough he isn't werkg..now he has to face the wife from hell...? god!
5:03 pm
You must be used to me crying, crying
While you're out bumpin' and grinding
But I'm leaving you tonight....
11:25 pm
Hey ppl... i am damn tired today... btw kiky, i didn't change the leaves...they r still there.... anyways, tt m@#!$@#** called me...at 2 am today{last night lah tu..} When i hv finally forgotten him.gotten over him...he calls me...and he only called to ask for one thing...and it's nt money this time... Why does he keep doing this to me??!! Why does he constantly come back to haunt me...and i always feel like giving in..b'cos i really love him...no matter what has happened...it's so hard for me to forget him...i have so much hate for him now...yet i hv so much love too....WHY???!!! I jus got over him...and you guys know tt i can never hear his voice and not cry later... WHY DO I STILL LOVE HIM??? After all the shit he put me through... What if he didn't even layan tt bitch? What if the granny salah faham? What if.... HELP!!!! Btw,TANX KIELY!!
See my days are cold without you..
But I'm hurting while I'm with you...
And though my heart can't take no more
I CAN"T keep running back to you...
11:16 pm
kysh here..just wanna say hello..
1:12 am
dear kyra, kiky here..hmm..you have so much to rant eh? anyway, thanks for taking the time to meet up with me today..despite the fact tt i disappeared with Sani halfway through the outing..as much as i missed you the other day, that's how much i miss him today (oh i guess it's yesterday already coz i'm typing this after midnight)..but i know, you'll never go away but he might and he can if he wants to..i hope he won't though..and just because he's my boyfriend, that doesn't mean that you are no longer one of my first priorities..*smiles* anyway, you gotta tone down on ya smoking..and hide the pall mall..hahak! hmm..what else? oh ya..who asked you to change the font and delete the leaves? next time let me do it..look, now it's decorated with "cd"...christian dior or civil defence? must be civil defence..sigh..masih sayangkan wan lagi ke? hehe..*winks*
1:12 am
If you were me
What would you do?
Always a lie, and never the truth
Now as for me, I'm moving on
You'll always be my baby
Baby, I just got to let you go for now
Thought I could take it for a while
Maybe i can make it back around
Baby, I just have to live my life for now
Can't see me changing for a while
If I could make it back around
Anything that I want I could get it boy
You know you turn me on and on
That's why I switch my frame of mine
Of being there when you call
Always on time
I'm looking to spread my winds and party
Everything and for everybody
I need my space, my time alone
It's like our hearts don't match no more
See anything that you wnat you could get it boy
You know I still got love for you
In court I plea 5th, my baby
Baby, I just had to let you go now
Though I could take it for a while
Maybe make it back around
Baby, I just have to live my life for now
Can't see me changing for a while
If I could make it back around
When you was cheatin'
You was probably thinkin'
I won't sense a thing
But love got a funny way of catchin' up to lies
Can't look me straight in the eyes
I'm not surprised
That you would hurt me, baby
But why me, baby
Just let me breathe
And I'll fly free, babe
If you were me
What would you do?
Always a lie, and never the truth
Now as for me, I'm moving on
You'll always be my baby
Ja Rule:
Why in the world would you wanna leave me, girl?
Is it something I did you felt that wasn't right
Home I know a bitch could do bad on her own
You're not alone, the way you hurt me baby
Shit, why me baby? I be in pain a little
But I live without you with the love it is as long as it lets you go
You feel the need to relax with your baby
Who else would hold you and sex you crazy
R.U.L.E. come on, holla at me
Baby, I just had to let you go now
Though I could take it for a while
Maybe make it back around
Baby, I just have to live my life for now
Can't see me changing for a while
If I could make it back around
7:48 pm
Hey Y'all!! I didn't go to werk taday...Hahaha!! Me was on da fon for 5 freaking hours last nite!! Hehehe!! Dgn Cik Abg... Hehehe!! N guess wat..We started talking nonsense just because of a question and my answer....
C.A: "Tgh isap rokok eh?"
Me:"Yes..abeh isap aper?"
And then it started... We laughed like crazy! And both of us couldnt believe i said tt! He said "I should be the one starting to talk nonsense...!" Hahahaha!!!! And i was smoking rite...den i looked at the cigarette box..then it reminded me of si MERAJUK...so i told him the story...Actually i TRIED to tell him...but i kept breakingout in uncontrollable laughter...hahahahahahaha...!!!!! Then he started laughing!! And it's likek the first time I heard him laugh sampai gitu! Hahaha!! {Got u!!}
4:44 pm
Hey Girls!! Howz u gals doin? Btw, TANX Kiky!!! I LOVE what you've done to my blog! SO GREEN!!! I'm so...tired...I've been werking like crazy. 8:45 to 5:00 or 6:30... Very tired.... HELP!! It's partly my fault too lah...Bergantung.....jer kat telipon mlm2!! Hahaha! Ok..back to the 1-0 thing... Si dektu ckp dier masuk NS(SORIE....But i feel I can BEST DESCRIBE all this in MALAY) Tak bwk hp...Aleh2 leh angkat telifon...hp lah tu...N then ajak aku kluar...konon da book out...belom....lagi 1 week da laeh book out??Betul ker...?? And when i ask him asal leh bk out siang nah..dektu ckp aper kau tau?? Dektu ckp , n i quote.."erm...i pon tak tau..." Bloodyfuck rite??!!! ARGH!! N to think I was WILLING to wait a fucking TWO YEARS for him!!!! I don't think so....
Anyways...Getting to more SERIOUS matters...I'm glad that everything is settled with the K-Sistas...If EVER this happens AGAIN b'coz one of you didnn't want to open their BLOODY mouths aand SAY SOMETHING....Kene kau dari aku!!
To KySha,
I know how you feel gerl..And all I can tell you is to BE STRONG and MOVE ON... There's really no point in thinking about him & reminding yourself of all the times with him & all the things you guys did...That'll only make it worse... You got it easier for you...you can't see his DAMN HOUSE from your ROOM!!! ARGH!!! Sorie... Anyways back to you...Erm...Oh ya, It's gona be hard cos like u said...he was like the only one aft ur first bf tt u EXPRESSED ur feeling to...FROM the HEART...{aku tak tau eja name dier ah..sorie..} I knoe how u feel babe...BE STRONG...I'll always be ther for you...WE'll ALWAYS BE THERE FOR YA!! LOVE YA BABE!! *muackz*
To KiKy, {sorie eh KieLy..kau tunngu jap.. :)}
I just wane say i'm SO....SORIE for not asking youwats wrong when i knew stg was not rite...I feel so shitty....I'M SO....SORIE..... I shldn't hv just..u knoe...I shld hv followed my instinc and asked you....I'M SO.....SORIE..... BUT....I'm still upset that u didn't just TELL me....That I needed to ASK before u told me...AKU KAT SINI BUAT APER..?TELEPHONES WERE INVENTED FOR A REASON....And so was the word...FRIENDS!! HELLO!!! But nevertheless..i still feel like shit cos i didn't just ask you when i knew i=stg was fishy... SORRY!!!!!!! Will you ever forgive me...? Amponilah aku..kawan kau yg sayang kau bnyk2...!! LOVE YA!! I'll always be there for ya too!! All of us will!! *muackz*
To KieLy, {yes...that wld be you si giler...}
Hmm....Ok that's all i can say... HAHAHA!! Just kidding...i just wane say thanx for all those WORDS of WISDOM..{ceh..jgn nk kembang k.. maintain....} It really helped alot...Tanx eh! Though we just got to knoe each other...mcm da lama eh kite kenal... hehe! I may have seemd aloof when u first met me..{i've been told by a certain someone tt i'm aloof... haha!} And just to let you knoe..i dnt open up easily to ppl unless i trust tt person....so..GET THE HINT...?! Anyways..juz wane tell ya...LOVE YA!! And hope things wit the HOLY ONE werks out fine! {HAHAHAHA!!! Holy konon!!} I'll always be here...The K's will always be there for each other...
To ALL of YAZ... LOVE YA LOTS!!! U GUYS ARE THE NEXT BEST THING TO MY FAMILY....
Okie....enuf of all that mushy stuff...{hehe!} I think i'm falling...It's like...everything is so...damn coincidental{sorie..ma spelling suckz} Mcm tak leh percaya gitu... hAha!! Abeh PAsal si DEktu yg supposedly kat NS...AH....LUPEKAN SUA......ARGH!!!! Aku dilema..{tt is definately the wrong spelling rite?} hehehe.....
12:11 am
