what is life about??
haiz...[in the background is the song "have a litle faith in me"...how
appropriate!] what is life? is life supposed to b like this?? full of so much pain..n sadness..so many questions unanswered... there's so many things i'd like to ask
someone but that someone is no longer around...
i do miss her alot...wosh she was here...but i noe that i am definately upsetting her in so many ways... i'm sure she is feeling very sad...and in so much pain...sometimes i thin kof her and say to myself that i should stop what i'm doing...den i just forget again...n do it all over again...
i really feel bad...but what can i do..[change! DUH!!] but it's gonna b hard...i hate having this feeling!
i really miss sham...it's been a long time since wrote to him...i guss i stopped bcos i havent gotten any reply...it is quite discouraging.... i miss him so much... but i dnt really show it...i just hide it by saying [oo!! this guy is cute!!] or by saying [ i think i like him!] but actually i'm really,
REALLY dying inside.....
peace out.........
9:41 pm
what a day...
well...first my shoe was stolen! my
Brand New ADIDAS shoe!! Whoever stole it, may he/she be cursed with smelly feet and rotting toe nails! :P
and then...all i wanted was to hv pizza for dinner....bt in the end....i had mac! [but now i'm eating pizza cos my dad went to 7-11 n bought one slice for me! so sweet!!]
And ok...i noe that u guys r worried abt my future n all...n i'm touched...
HONESTLY.. but it's easier said than done... i really love him...n if he isn't a changed man...i wldnt b back with him..i believe he can do it...all he needs is a little push n support...he doesnt get any at home...that's why most ppl in his shoes face this problem...
he may seem bad and all wit the situation at the moment...but he made a mistake...a mistake that was actually caused by me! i forced him to get a job...n he got a job....a stoopid job..but still, a job...just to make me happy....to prove a point..that he can earn his own money...
see...he isnt all that bad...n quite frankly...i am getting quite annoyed with the constant reminders n warnings....i do aprreciate ur concern...but i also noe wat i'm doin...i cant just leave him now...he hasnt really done anything wrong... towards me at least...
he is a very sweet guy...so please..dont critisize someone u havent met n dont really know..dnt judge a person so fast on wat u hear n see....i noe i havent really told u guys anything about him...that's bcos i hv this feeling that no matter what i say....u wont listen...
i admit...yes he has made me very upset...but it's in the past...he should be given a chance...he has changed...he doesnt want to be this way forever....i noe.... and if he does the same mistake again...i noe wat to do...dnt worry....
i've tot abt it...i dnt need luxury in my life ahead...i'm having all the luxury i want rite now...i now it wldnt b fair for my kids...but i hv sat down n tot abt my future...it isnt so bad wit him... i noe wat to do.... i may b too young to understand all of this to some ppl....but i'm not...i've gone through a lot of shit... i'm prepared...
so please....i'm begging u...don't critisize...cos unknowingly....u're hurting me too....
like i said....i do appreciate ur concern...but i dnt need it so often tt it hurts....
i love u al very much! i treat u guys like my own family...so please...i dnt mean to hurt u...or sound rude...bt please...cut
us some slack....
10:55 pm
