..:: who am i?::..
"sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never harm me"yeah, i'm fat.
yeah, i ain't gorgeous.
yeah, i ain't no supermodel.
ditto.
but i've got brains, i've got a career...and more importantly,
I'VE GOT SELF RESPECT.i don't need to be a size six.
i don't need to be a covergirl.
all i need to be is, myself.
make up is just an accessory. an accessory which i don't depend on to walk out of the house.
i'm more of a person than
you will ever be. partly cos i'm at least twice your size, but mostly cos i've got self respect and high self esteem. maybe you should get them too.
it takes courage to tell a person what their flaws are.
it takes guts to admit your own flaws.
a flaw that i have [and am proud of having]...being able to take all things negative and making them positively useful.
a favourite phrase i like to use to people who try to bring others down...
"it
always takes one, to know one"
i'm not perfect, no one is. the most perfect being, is HIM. [and i'm not talking about the band. :p]
to my dearest Khairul,
i know you love me.
i know you care.
i know you will always be there for me.
i don't doubt our relationship.
it's love in general that puzzles me.
i know you understand what i was trying to say, you always do.
that's what makes US special.
12:52 am
..:: what is love? ::..
is love really enough to sustain a relationship? alot of people are telling me no.
apparently with modernisation, love isn't what it used to be.
love can be bought.
love can be fake.
love can be nothing.love is confusing.why is it that after years of marriage people can fall out of love? why do people lie to their once-upon-a-time 'soul mate'? why cheat on the person whom which you've shared every waking moment with for almost half of your life? why pretend that nothings bothering you when there is? why tell them you love them when you actually love someone else? and how CAN you love someone else when you've made that "all important" vow?
is that what married life is all about?
when you're dating, you fear that someone else will come and take that person away from you. then you get married and think that "phew, now i can relax cos no one's gonna take him/her away from me". after a year [or sometimes LESS], you realize that the competition didn't stop, in fact it just got more intense. the vow doesn't matter. it's just words that would last that ONE day instead of the rest of your life
together.
but how do you know if you love someone? i mean, yeah you've been with him/her for the past few years...then you slip into that 'comfortable' mode and for some it's great...for others, the relationship becomes boring. then what? try to make things more interesting..or
find someone more interesting?
"love is a many splendored thing" -
many people sang this song"love. confused with lust?" -
mila r.men confuse love with lust and can get away with it. women, they get named sluts and whores.
this is just a random post. i just though i'd better get this outta my head rather than keep it all in my heart.
if you fell out of love after our third child gets into school...what would you do? would you lie or would you confess? would you try to love me again or would you have already found a replacement? would you leave me or see the other woman while i'm asleep? would you stay for the kids or leave to save yourself?
you may have thought that i got over it but i haven't. i still feel insecure. it's not that i dun trust you, it's just that i know that no matter what - shit happens. i noe i always pick a fight with you and i'm always the one who wants things to end, but that's because i don't want to have given you my all only to find you walking hand-in-hand with another person. i love you. more than i'll let myself admit. and i guess i'm scared. i may act like i don't care. i may act like i'm not bothered by who you're with. you may think i'm psycho.
what i'm trying to say is.....
i'm afraid i'll lose you to someone else for the simple reason that i can't be all that you want me to be.
11:14 pm
...:: i need photoshop ::...
ok..so i changed by template.
tried to do a nice collage of pictures...not easy when all you've got is paintbrush and powerpoint. but yes. i did this "collage" using Microsoft Powerpoint & that "Paint" tool you have with every computer.
it's really messy. i know. will try and work on it tomorrow. maybe will use the mac instead.
i'm very tired now.
bye.
1:00 am
...:: chicken wings. hoe. lychee martinis. ::...
last night was the best night out i've had so far in the longest time with my babes and 'the boys'. met up to go to starbucks but ended up at balcony. had just one drink and mr matthew lee got bored. well, actually i tink most of us were bored. so when the rest finished their drink, we headed for ice cold. that is going to be my new favourite haunt!
the music was great!! the chicken wings rawk. the drinks are cheap!!! wat a great place..... *grins* oh! and when i say the chicken wings rawk... they really RAWK. finger-licking-good!! and it goes really well with the drinks! wow. had a few great laughs and a nice talk with everyone.
the last part of the night was a mistake. haha. and i knew it through n through from the start. so we travelled quite a distance [thank god for Night Riders]. Walk the WHOLE area not to find a single place to go!! ended up in a cab to my place. khai took the Night Rider home.
i loved last night though.
kisses.cuddles.hugs.snuggles.
babes.drinks.wings.laughs.
WE MUST DO IT AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*to almira.....how weird it is to have someone proclaim that they've seen their lover with someone else...and when that someone else asks him if he noes this person..........he has NO IDEA who you are...you must not have caught his attention..and unlike you....i AM with him... and I AM his lover... *
11:24 am
