Sunday, October 08, 2006

..:: Life...what’s it about? ::..

Well, I duno wat happend, but suddenly this tot has gotten into my head again. I know that it won't happen anyway but there's no harm in dreaming right?

I was actually watchin One Tree Hill with my bro. Then there was Hailey & Nathan. Well, I guess the only difference between them n me is that I dun come from a rich family. N neither does khai.

So in case none of you watch One Tree Hill, Hailey n Nathan are in high school and they're married and living together on their own.

What hit me is not that their married so young, but that they've got their independence and that they're living on their own. I've been thinking about moving out and living on my own. But it doesn’t work that way in Singapore. I mean, you can't rent a place unless u're married, or your parents are dead, or if your unmarried and 35 & above. And I mean, that's if u wane rent under HDB. But if u wane rent from the owner themselves, it’s gonna cost more. Like if your salary is below a certain amount, your rent with HDB can go as low as S$40/mth. But if u rent from the owner, watever ur salary is, the lowest it goes is S$350/mth, nt including power, gas, water & telephone bills. Well, i dun really need the telephone anyway.

But it's so hard to learn independence in Singapore. And if you want to, you'll need to be rich! I dunno why, but I just want to live on my own. Not so that I can do watever I want, but because I want to experience life. It'll be different living on your own than living w ur family. I mean, you'll finally be in charge of your life and you'll get to understand it all.

The bills you have to pay, the expenses, the responsibilities. I guess that's why Singaporeans are always spoilt. They never really get to experience all these kinda things. Of course, I'm sure there are people out there who wish that they didn't have to go thru all this at such a young age, i.e. ppl hu have lost their parents when they're young and hafta live on their own.

I guess some ppl wld think I’m ungrateful for wanting to leave. But it's nt that. I just wane experience life. I wane be able to show ppl that i am a responsible and mature individual unlike what most of my family members think.

I've been called a spoilt brat because ppl think that i get wat i want. I’m really shocked and disgusted. I mean, they dun even now wat goes on in my life, and just because I got stuff that they dun, they think I’m spoilt?! I dun get watever I want. And if I do have things that others dun, it's because I werked for it. I dun jus snap my fingers and get things.

And since I started werking 3 years ago, I bought everythin I needed on my own. My clothes, my shoes, my necessities. It’s nt bought by my dad. Yes, wen I wasn’t werking, he supported me, bt I returned it to him. And if he does buy me things, it’s only because he knows I’ve wanted it for years.
But if u tink I’m spoilt, I cant say much to change your perception can I?

This is y I want to move out. I wane live my own life. I wane experience everything.

I wane explore the world. I wane prepare myself for what’s to come soon. But I noe it wnt be easy.

I wane get married. But I noe that marrying young will nt be THAT successful. Especially wen both of us r just beginning our careers. We’ll be fighting about financial issues, definitely. No matter wat we say now, it is unavoidable. And then, theirs our individual responsibilities. Our need for space and some freedom. I noe it'll be hard. And I wont lie, I noe tat I’m not fully prepared for it, i.e all the fights and misunderstandings.

I mean, I can get upset over a small comment made by him. But he doesn’t see it. To him it's a small matter. And the comment was a fair one. But to me its not. It means more than wat he tinks it is. But he doesn’t get it. And I noe that this will continue to happen. We wnt be able to understand each other fully. nt for the first few years though. bt maybe later.

I really wane live on my own. bt I noe it wont be easy. And I noe I’ll need to earn way more than wat I’m earning now.

Wen I tell my mom abt this, she tells me how everyone in the west now want to live with their parents and not move out. Weird. I guess cos it’s getting more expensive now, or maybe their jus single and enjoying living off their parents. I mean, u gotta look from their perspective rite?

Well, i jus hope that things will change and i'll be able to experience all these soon...

3:57 pm