...:: to blog, or NOT to blog? ::...
i was contemplating on whether to blog or not.
dunno if the message put across would be taken positively or negatively.
i'm guessing negative.
you?
anyway, on with the post.
the black sheep. every family has one. and in my family, i'm the lucky member to be the blackest of them all [besides the fact that i AM the darkest]. i was the only member [in this household that is] to have been admitted to a neighbourhood secondary school. i was also the only one to have managed to FAIL most of the subjects i took in secondary school. i was the only one who had to have my parents come down to meet my teachers to discuss my constant daydreaming and bad copying of homework and of the "never failing to FORGET to bring my books to school". heh. but i managed to at least pass my o's and get into a pre-u. after which i decided that after 8 months of studying geography and a maths, i wanted to be in the ARTS. so i signed up for Lasalle, but never went for the interviews. i got accepted into Ngee Ann, but failed after ONE semester. well, that was because i was working more than studying, i din have a choice really, my dad got retrenched and i decided that i needed to support myself. well, after working for almost 2 years, i went back to skool and got my dip. and i've started work again.
throughout my WHOLE teenage life, i've been through hell's inferno and backagain. i was grounded from the age of 17-18. [beat that!] i couldn't use the home phone cos it was locked. hell, i couldn't even go downstairs.
then when i got a boyfriend, i did stoopid things and got ratted out by my youngest most precious-to-my-mom brother and after a discussion which has been claimed to be a miscommunication, i was kicked out of my house. yeap. after about a month, my sister thought it's been too long so i went back to my house with her [ the intention was to patch things up w my dad] only to find my room neatly packed up and ready for me to clear out. that's wen my dad found out wat happend and well, as they saying goes 'the rest is history'. i moved back a week later.
well, all i can say is that, i may be only 21... but... i've been there, done that, and i've seen it all.
my life, is a never ending rollercoaster. jus like every other person in this universe. or rather, every other black sheep in this universe.
now, i got a NEW and IMPROVED boyfriend. a NEW and IMPROVED family [or at least i'm letting myself believe it. THANK GOD FOR MY DAD!!] and i got a NEW and IMPROVED job. TADA!! a new and IMPROVED life. i guess things change when u start looking on the other side of the rainbow and stop dwelling in the storm. my dad was rite. POSITIVE thinking works! heh. i can't believe i just said that!!!!
ok... anyway, my point is, and i'm sure u noe it's for WHO, i've said it before and i'll say it again. "i've loved, hated and i'm still living with [my family]" smiling and being cheery doen't mean that's how i really feel inside. and, hey! i don't nag cos i want to prove something. i guess, i noe how it feels to be lonely in ur own house and think that everyone around u hates u. i noe u don't believe it's true. well, that's up to you aye?
12:39 am
