..:: dreams, dreams... ::..
i'm sorry.
i lied...
to my heart..for telling it it's not aching.
to my mind...for telling it i'm fine.
to everyone...for telling them i'm ok.
it finally sank in. the crash i heard last nite was my heart dropping to my feet and breaking into a million pieces. and....
i'm lonely again.
why hasnt' he called? why hasn't he msged me? why???
it took me a month to fall in love... and a week for my heart to break....
and i'm to blame for it all....
this isn't t the way it should be. it was supposed to be a wake up call. it was supposed to be a realization for him.
it wasn't supposed to be me feeling guilty. it wasn't supposed to be me feeling worried about him finding someone else. it wasn't supposed to be hurting like this...
and i miss him.
you were supposed to stop me from taking my things back.. but you didn't even reply to my msg telling i'll be collecting everything on saturday.
you were supposed to call me and try to talk to me. you were supposed to msg me and try to win my heart back again. but you chose to remain silent.
you were supposed to understand what i'm trying to do. you were supposed to know that what i'm doing will benefit US. but you chose to get upset about it.
you think i don't understand your passion. you think i don't understand your situation. you think i don't understand you. but it's you who doesn't understand me.
it sucks when you realize that it all boils down to the thing we thought would never affect our relationship. but like i've mentioned before... money is the root of all evil. no matter how you try to avoid it.. no matter how much you tell yourself it's not going to be a huge factor.. it will because life depends on it.
food.house.life.
and yes, even love.
tell me honestly that money hasn't been a huge burden to our relationship.
tell me honestly that your
constantperpetual lateness hasn't always been a main cause of fights.
tell me honestly that your job-hopping hasn't taken a toll on us.
and i'll apologise from the bottom of my
heartass for having us go through this.
how can you honestly say that you were the one hurt? how could you turn around and make it my fault? why is it always my fault that we quarrel? why is it always me who has to give in? why is it always me that has to be the one to make things better? why do I have to accept things as it happens? why am I the only who works for the future? why is it me that's at fault...and you that is hurt?
2:52 am
